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Email Again

germanemail.pngFinally figured out the deal with my email trouble. Basically it comes down to not being able to speak german too good (as in basically not at all.) I found a setting under "Optionen" (I figure that probably translates to "Options" in english) called "AntiSpam". It had the following text included under the option "Spam-Schutz für Massendomains aktivieren" which had a check box that was clicked:

"Aus Sicherheitsgründen empfängt GMX Mails aus den Domains,,,, und standardmäßig nur von Mailservern dieser Domains. Sollten Sie diesen Schutzmechanismus ausschalten, rechnen Sie bitte mit einem erhöhten Aufkommen von Spam und/ oder UCE in Ihrem Postfach."

This translates with babelfish to:

"For safety reasons GMX Mails from the Domains receives,,,, and only according to standard from Mailservern of these Domains. If you should switch this protective mechanism off, count please on the increased arising of Spam and/or UCE in your p.o. box."

A little further down on the page there is a text entry box with the title: "erwünschte Absender".

What I found was that if I put my friend's email addresses in this text box their mail doesn't bounce. Nifty eh? I could have saved all this hassle by either just using an english based web mail account, or maybe just learning some german.

Where's the fun in that?

Man Ray Afternoon

manraybutt.pngFinally went to the Getty museum today. Been there three times previously without actually going in like a tourist. My fav was the Getty Underground exhibition.

Well, today my daughter took me up the hill. It was much as I expected. Hagen Daas ice cream bars $3.95 a piece. We asked one of the guards what the hot deal was--I got tired of walking pretty quick, and it seemed like it was all stuff that I'd seen before at the Malibu museum. The guard suggested the west gallery. The one with all the impressionist and surrealist stuff. I concurred and we scurried over.

All stuff I had seen before. The Van Gogh was under glass this time. There was a Picasso under glass as well. I don't understand why they didn't have more guards around. There was only one in a room full of marvelous impressionist paintings. It was making me paranoid. There were a lot of people in there. Kids messing with the name card on the Van Gogh--no wonder they have it under glass.

My daughter pointed out to me a woman that had her zipper down. Maybe she thought I would be interested. Ha. We were both too embarassed to tell her. I told one of the guards and he ran over to her as if she were getting ready to barf blue paint on some art work. Guess he was pretty bored.

My favorite object this time was a picture of some chick's ass taken by Man Ray in 1930. Really nice. The title card next to it mentioned that it had been pretty controversial back in the day. Looked like a nice big peach.

God's Secret Name

SecretNameGod.pngA while back I was thinking about adding a horoscope to my web site. Kind of like they do on the onion web site. I wasn't sure how to go about it. How do they come up with the banal crap which comprises most horoscopes? How do you come up with something that's banal crap and funny at the same time? (the way they do at TheOnion.)

About this time while wandering around in Hollywood I noticed this triple x rag dispensed from newspaper vending machines in Hollywood. It's called "L.A. X...Press". Above the fold it has messages like:

"Meet exciting singles through our personal ads"

"Enjoy a gentle massage in your area"

Below the fold it has the horoscope for the current week.

Also around this time I was experimenting with "cutups"--a writing thing where I was folding various texts over so that one sentence was completed by another. To create random writings. I feel kind of weird carrying that sex newspaper around so I rip the front page off and fold it up to get my own custom version of a horoscope--and throw the rest of the paper away. Then I scan down for new sentences that "make sense".

My favorite for this week is made up of the following sentence fragments:

"Once you start to see the bigger picture, you'll stop"

"Use your creative talents to make changes in your domestic life."

So, if you fold the page the way I have been doing you get the following:

"Once you start to see the bigo make changes in your domestic life"

The sentence fragments joining there between the 'g' and 'o' of 'bigo'. I figure

it should be read like so:

"Once you start to see the big o make changes in your domestic life"

This advice is at least as useful as what you get from a regularly published horoscope-as in not very--but at least it's more fun. Until someone sees me carrying that sex newspaper around...

Hollywood During Wartime

HollywoodDuringWartime.pngAll I wanted to do was check my email... I was in Hollywood near Sunset and La Brea waiting on the bus. If I could catch the bus on Sunset, I'd ride it down to Vine then walk to the Hollywood and Vine Metro Red Line station. The station I would prefer to use [at Highland] being closed due to hightened security for the Academy Awards.

From the bus stop, looking east I see more cops than I remember seeing when the president comes to town--a lot of cops (the L.A. Times said that at it's peak the protest/academy awards required 800 LAPD and 200 CHP.)

Traffic control guys on the corner told me:

"this mess here is a war protest, your best bet is to walk along Sunset on the north side cause the protest is happening in front of the Burger King"

I walk along the north side of the street until I hear a guy saying the street is blocked on the north side. The only way through is by bus. I hike back to catch the bus thinking that at least I'll get a good--if somewhat slow--view of the protest, but when I get on the bus it's detoured around down to Santa Monica then back north again at Vine. Bah.

I don't understand the point of protesting the war while it's going on already. But I guess it's got to be more fun carrying those signs around than sitting at home watching "war as entertainment" coverage. More fun until you get arrested I guess. But jesus, that war coverage--how boring can you get? Can't they just boil it down into a few "spectacular" shots of bombs and fire? Do we have to see those stupid blocky videophone shots of tanks rolling across the desert?

The other day I saw a newspaper with a one word headline over a shot of some military action in iraqi desert: "AWESOME". Hey, you know what? People are dying. It's not a thrill ride at magic mountain.

Saturday I had an encounter with protesters as well. The station at Highland was open, and I used it to gain access to the train to go downtown. At the Vine station the train filled with protesters. I could tell they were protesters cause they were carrying signs, wearing Birkenstocks and smelling pretty musty. Guess there's a certain level of exertion that goes along with protesting. Probably goes up if arrested.

The cute-est sign I saw was one which read: "Frodo Failed!" above a picture of Bush which had an inset picture of Bush's wedding ring.

According to a stargazer interviewed in the Times the anti-war protest at the Academy Awards was good for something:

"The protesters have really helped because a lot of the people going to the show have been rolling down their windows to give the peace sign, so we can see who's in the car".


Sore throat. Low energy. Sex would clear all this up.

Writing To Magnetic Effect

MagneticPoet.pngSeems like I'm not writing as clearly or as often as I was before. Hard to find a mental space lately conducive to writing. This is good and bad. Bad cause what I write isn't as clear as I would like it to be. Good cause I'm learning how to write more clearly while spending less time writing (at least, I hope so.)

I still feel like it's important to try and write everyday. The reason for this mostly comes out of something a professional writer told me once. I was doing a lot of technical writing and having a hard time with it. I asked her what I could do to become a better writer. She said the biggest thing I could do is just try to write every day. Read a lot and write whenever possible. The same thing Steven King says in his book: "On Writing".

Sometimes when I write about something silly or off the wall, this is what's going on. It's just what I was thinking about at the time. I try not to censor what I'm writing [though of course I do at some level.]

Been doing some experimenting with different writing methods, most of them are detailed on the rhizomatic writing web site. While playing with the cut-up method I found that you can make your own cut-up horoscope by folding the cover of one of those triple x newspapers you find in hollywood. It has a picture of some woman above the fold and the week's horoscope below. I tear the cover off and fold it in such a way that the horoscopes for the signs on the left and right overlap. Sometimes the results are interesting. So... if you ever see me carrying around this paper, that's what I'm doing with it (not looking at the massage ads, honest!)

My favorite from last week's xxx horoscope cut-up:

"Be prepared to have all of your ass listen with a critical ear".

If anybody is interested in playing exquisite corpse let me know. I guess I could play online, but it seems like it would be more fun with a group of people.

The joke-y horoscope on the onion web site is still my favorite...

Thong Police

LooseSocks.pngI saw something disturbing yesterday while waiting for the bus in front of the Hollywood and Highland Metro station. A young japanese woman was wearing gold lamé leg warmers with black high heels.

Fortunately, the shape of her calves totally made up for it. I wasn't staring at them.

My Big Fat English Bisexual

VirginiaWoolf.pngReading Virginia Woolf's "Orlando". Fun book. Her big fat lesbian love letter to Vita Sackville-West.

I think the reason I'm reading it... well, it's Nicole Kidman's fault. My favorite scenes in "The Hours" were when she was writing in her sitting room. She would take a big drag on her hand-rolled cigarette, space out a bit, then crank a few lines with her fountain pen. I've heard some people say that Nicole Kidman doesn't particularly look like Virginia Woolf. Like they used to shoot pool with her or something. Who cares?

Tried reading "Mrs. Dalloway" right after seeing the movie. Seemed like too much of a chick book. Now I'm reading her big fat lesbian love letter instead. Doh!

So, yeah, it's pretty good. As usual I have been bookmarking lines and passages that I like:

"He seemed in the act of rolling some thought up and down, to and fro in his mind till it gathered shape or momentum to his liking."

"For in all she said, however open she seemed and voluptous, there was something hidden; in all she did, however daring, there was something concealed."

"For once the disease of reading has laid upon the system it weakens it so that it falls an easy prey to that other scourge which dwells in the inkpot and festers in the quill. The wretch takes to writing."

"Of the nature of poetry itself, Orlando only gathered that it was harder to sell than prose, and though the lines were shorter took longer in the writing."

"The mind of man, moreover, works with equal strangeness upon the body of time. An hour, once it lodges in the queer element of the human spirit, may be stretched to fifty or a hundred times its clock length; on the other hand, an hour may be accurately represented on the timepiece of the mind by one second."

"Altogether, the task of estimating the length of human life (of the animals' we presume not to speak) is beyond our capacity, for directly we say that it is ages long, we are reminded that it is briefer than the fall of a rose leaf to the ground."

"'Oh! if only I could write!' she cried (for she had the odd conceit of those who write that words written are shared)."

"No passion is stronger in the breast of man than the desire to make others believe as he believes. Nothing so cuts at the root of his happiness and fills him with rage as the sense that another rates low what he prizes high."

Spam Nation

SpamNation.pngJust checked that hotmail account that I signed up for two days ago. I haven't given anybody the address but there are thirty two spam messages sitting in there right now. What a joke. To sign up for the account I had to wade through a bunch of stuff about and sign up for Microsoft Passport. Some kind of internet identity "service". Who are they kidding?

Microsoft... get your shit together.

A Pattern Reveals Itself

hotmail.pngMy daughter Heather had been complaining that she wasn't able to... something or other with my email address. Then Denise said she was not able to reply to an email I had sent her. Corrine had been saying something about emails sent to me were bouncing.

It occurred to me that the thread common to all these problems was that they were all using variations of hotmail. Heather, and Corrine are both on hotmail. Denise is on MSN which is hotmail underneath.

I registered a hotmail account so I could test to see what was going. I sent an email to my new hotmail account then tried replying to it. This is the error message that I got:

   ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----

    (reason: 550 {mx034-rz3} The recipient does not accept mails from

'' over foreign mailservers)

I use an email forwarding service. So my email address can change but stay the same. Let's see if I can put that another way. People send email to the same unchanging address and it gets forwarded to whatever the email address is at the isp I happen to be using is.

The cool way to do this now is just to have a domain name. But the result would be the same as far as receiving email from hotmail accounts.

Anyway, the fix was to change the "reply to" field so it's the same as the address the email was sent from. Problem solved. The other alternative was to get friends and family that are using hotmail accounts to "just say no".

My sister Laura told me that when they switched the msn mail servers over to the hotmail servers her spam level went up tremendously. Hotmail already had a reputation for mucho spamo. I get a kick out of the msn commercials where they talk about the advantages of their spam protection. "It's not a bug, it's a feature!"

One way to avoid the spam that comes along with using a hotmail account is to not use it in the first place. Maybe try Yahoo for email instead. I have heard that the spam level is much lower over at I'll be monitoring the spam level in my new hotmail account. I have not given the address to anyone. Let's see how quickly I start getting spammed...

Jack Lord's Hairpiece

jacklordshairpiece.pngI like it when it rains hard like it did today. I like it more if I'm indoors sucking on a cocoa and a good book. Metal roofs are good for when it rains. Today wasn't like that. It was raining hard and I was walking around, taking the bus and such.

The rain is coming down hard and I'm going around on the bus and on foot, looking for work. After a while I realized that it was pretty hopeless. That happened around the time I started to feel like a drowned rat. Water in my shoes, the bottom half of my pant legs were soaked.

I decided to get on the bus and go over to the cafe. At least there I can look for a job using the internet and stay warm and dry. When I got off the bus the street was full of water. One of those rare times when it's been raining so long that you can't really cross the street without walking through a lake. I did all that and then found the cafe closed. Late opening cause of the rain I guess. I walked down the street to "Googies Cafe". Never had a satisfying dining experience there, but it was open. Remind me never to spend money just to get something in my stomach. Some kind of cheapo buritto would have been more satisfying.

Give the People What They Want

tombraider.pngJust watched "Tombraider". It's about what I expected. As usual with a movie that has a lot invested in special effects the script was exceptionally weak. What is it with that? You would think that if they were going to pour that much money into a film at least they would start with a good script. Even Spielberg was guilty of this with "Jurassic Park", though there it wasn't the script that was weak so much as the direction--weak acting throughout.

One thing I've noticed with the animation that's used in these films is that they don't seem to have the motion down quite right. All the cgi stuff seems to move in a cartoony fashion. The way the robot bounces around as it move reminds me of the rock creature in "Galaxyquest". It's like you can recognise the software involved by the way it doesn't quite movie correctly. Giant objects move in a way that defies physics. It looks great, it just doesn't move right.

Oh well. The way Angelina Jolie's tit's bounced was certainly realistic and for most people that was enough.

The Franco File

FrancoFile.pngEver wonder what people are thinking when they pluck down some change for a movie? I sure do. You have to wonder sometimes about what it is that motivates people. People and the things they do will set you to scratching your head faster than any other thing.

Wondering about it I realized the best I can do is to try and understand my own aesthetic in choosing media. Films, books, videos, what channels I watch when the tellie is on. What do I pour into my brain? Of course it's easier to talk about this when you're thinking about other people. Maybe it's easier to observe from outside. To understand what someone else is doing. What choices they make. This doesn't make it any easier to understand though.

For instance, it seems pretty clear that ANY kind of french ANYTHING wags Denise. Observing this and saying it doesn't make it easy to understand what motivates her in this obsession. Easy to observe, difficult to understand. I wonder if asking her would shed any light on the subject. Similarly, I wonder if asking my friends about their perception of my aesthetic would help to shed any light on it. Would knowing how other's perceive my choices help me understand why I make them? It's an interesting question. I think the answer is probably yes.

Is it me or do the french get away with stuff that people elsewhere cannot? For instance:

"dude... that's porn"

"no, it's french!"

"oh, that's ok then".

Premature Ejaculation

artfart.pngI have had this art post brewing. I got some things I want to say about my interaction and thinking about art--since that's been happening recently, and then I saw this documentary film about the art of Alan Goldworthy "Rivers and Tides: Andy Goldsworthy Working With Time".

The ideas in the movie kind of folded into what I had been thinking about. It's still brewing though and I don't feel like I'm ready to write about it yet, but then it occurred to me that the movie isn't going to be playing there all that much longer (it's at the Nuart) and I want everybody to go and check it out. If you're interested in art anyway, go and see it. It's a good movie. Maybe I can find a review that does it justice. I'll link it at the below. If you have any interest in art I recommend looking into this film. I'm really glad I saw it. I'll have some more to say about art later when my brain constipation lets up.

Andy Goldsworthy
Rivers and Tides

Tyranny of Email

Great article linked on slashdot concerning how proper and improper use of email effects your management of time. There isn't anything here that isn't in the Rand classic paper on email: "Toward an Ethics and Etiquette for Electronic Mail" but the article is focused around saving time. It's nice to see some of these points made again. As pervasive as email has become they can't be made enough in my opinion.

CaptainZapp posted the entire article in a comment on slashdot but here is the original link as well:

The Tyranny of Email
CaptainZapp's copy

Zyklon B

zyklonb.pngThe first time I went to Royce Hall was pretty much a complete disaster. A "Dead Can Dance" concert. Tour for the album: "Into the Labyrinth". Nice concert hall. Sit down kind of deal. A theatre, not the kind of place where you're going to get up and start dancing. Everytime Liza Gerrard did a vocal number some guy on the other side of the theatre would scream: "BRAVISIMO!!!!".

My girl friend farted through the entire concert. Not your everyday regular farts either. SBD (silent but deadly) farts. Basically laying down nerve gas throughout the entire concert. Music was good, but hard to enjoy under the circumstances.

It was like a Rube Goldberg machine--my girl friend would squeeze one out, and the asshole on the other side of the theatre would scream: "BRAVISIMO!!!!". The whole thing was so nasty, after a while I just started laughing.

Potty Humor

Bah. I was hard up for something to write about last night. I think it's important to write everyday. What I've read that writers have said about learning to write is that it's important to get in the habit of writing all the time. Always wanted to have a web site, but thought I would wait till I had something to say. Now I'm writing everyday till I have something to say instead. Like meditation the point is just the practice--as soon as you're doing it for a particular reason it's no longer meditation. So the reason for writing is just to learn how to write or just to be writing.

Anyway, last night's post made me feel kind of sleazy so I took it off. If I'm going to gossip it's going to be about me and not some people I don't know, or don't care to know.

I'm sitting here at Juices Fountain on Vine in Hollywood drinking a number ten. After that I'll have another cigarette then head down to the library to check my email and post/edit this spastic attempt at writing. Then make the rounds looking for work.

I've almost completely given up paper books. I'm only reading stuff that I can get onto my pocket computer. At that though I'm being fairly successful. It feels weird to be reading some of this stuff. Right now for instance I'm reading a play by Aristophanes "Lysistrata". It's about women in Greece that conspire to end war by cutting of their men from the pussy. It feels weird reading something that was written 400 bc on a pocket computer. I guess most people looking at what I'm doing think I'm playing a video game or watching a portable tv. Secret intellectual. Part of the fun of carrying around a book is in the reactions you get from people when they see what you're reading. Sometimes it leads to interesting conversations.

You can find out a lot about people by what they read. I think so anyway. People gave me a lot of shit for carry around [and reading] a copy of Nabokov's "Lolita". Most people hadn't read it, but there were many who had some idea about it being a pervert book of some kind and they felt free to tell me such. I guess it kind of is, but what a great book. I'm sure I will read it again. Such beautiful prose--artfully (and insidiously) constructed to get you to following the main character while he falls in love with a twelve year old girl. A horror novel in some sense I suppose, but also one of the best love stories I have read. Kind of like the film "The Crying Game". In the "Crying Game" you're lead along as the protagonist falls in love only to find later that she is a man. My theory about the controversy over the film is that it didn't come out of the subject matter so much as people (men) felt betrayed and tricked into falling in love with a man. That's how films work (when they work) they trick you into experiencing the emotions that are protrayed. In a way that other media cannot do.

Soon I'll be reading some Kafka. "The Trial" I think. That Lem book "Memoirs Found in a Bathtub" was very Kafkaesque. Consciously so I think. Lem doing Kafka. Interesting book but it only made me want to read more Kafka.

Ran into Andy a couple days ago. He says he's Lem's nephew and I don't have any reason to dispute this. He seems to know a lot about him anyway. We talked a bit about how Lem hated both film versions of his book "Solaris" and how it was pretty much impossible to turn great books into great movies. Or anyway if one is a fan of a book how likely one is to be disappointed with a film version of it. I still have not seen the latest film version of "Solaris" but seeing the first one made me read the book, so I can appreciate it for that anyway. I've read the book three times now and I'm sure I will read it a few more. While I'm on this subject I have to say I really appreciate the balls it took of Soderbergh and Clooney to make the film. They weren't expecting to make any money from it (and said as much on an interview with Charlie Rose) and just did it because they loved the material. They made it to bring it to a wider audience. I saw Clooney saying pretty much the same thing about "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind". Actors making a film because they love the characters and the material. These are the kind of films that interest me. David Cronenberg has said that it's basically impossible to turn a good book into a good movie. All you can really do is to try and be true to the original intent of the author. What you get of course is their take on what the author was trying to say. Never the same of course, but sometimes pretty good. Cronenberg's "Dead Zone" is one of my favorite movies. Kubrick's "The Shining" is another film that I really like a lot. Both of these films got me to grudgingly admit that Steven King can tell a good story.

Read an essay by Lem recently where he talked about his writing style. He said that when he started "Solaris" as Kelvin was flying his space ship over the planet, preparing to land at the station he (Lem) had no idea that the planet was covered by a vast sentient ocean. It seems as though the book was planned and written but it just kind of flowed out. I find this very interesting. Lem described this as "writing as a reader". In other words he was just as amazed as the reader was at what was to occur.

Been taking a break from the scatology of this Marquis de Sade book. Some of it's pretty funny, but it's all very gross. I'm glad to read something of his finally but I'll be glad to finish it too. One of the things I'm reading as I said above is this play by Aristophanes "Lysistrata". It's about women conspiring to end war by cutting their men off from pussy. I like this bit:

CLEONICE: But if they beat us?

LYSISTRATA: Then yield to their wishes, but with a bad grace; there is no pleasure in it for them, when they do it by force. Besides, there are a thousand ways of tormenting them. Never fear, they'll soon tire of the game; there's no satisfaction for a man, unless the woman shares it.

Boy, he got that right...

It seems I can't get away from scatological references:

MAGISTRATE (jumping nervously, then striving manfully to regain his dignity): Really, my fine lady! Where is my officer? I want him to tie that woman's hands behind her back.

LYSISTRATA: By Artemis, the virgin goddess! if he touches me with the tip of his finger, officer of the public peace though he be, let him look out for himself!

                         (The first Scythian defecates in terror.)

MAGISTRATE (to another officer): How now, are you afraid? Seize her, I tell you, round the body. Two of you at her, and have done with it!

CLEONICE: By Pandrosos! if you lay a hand on her, Ill trample you underfoot till the crap comes out of you!

                        (The second Scythian defecates in terror.)

MAGISTRATE: Look at the mess you've made! Where is there another officer? (To the third Scythian) Bind that minx first, the one who speaks so prettily!

MYRRHINE: By Phoebe, if you touch her with one finger, you'd better call quick for a surgeon! (The third Scythian defecates in terror.)

MAGISTRATE: What's that? Where's the officer? (To the fourth Scythian) Lay hold of her. Oh! but I'm going to stop your foolishness for you all

CLEONICE: By the Tauric Artemis, if you go near her, I'll pull out your hair, scream as you like. (The fourth Scythian defecates in terror.)

That's a lot of Scythian's shitting. I wonder if they had special effects back in 410 b.c. or did they really crap on stage?

LYSISTRATA by Aristophanes

On The Rocks

OnTheRocks.pngOne of the guys that hangs out at the cafe is going to have some of his art in an upcoming exhibition. It's going to be in the gallery in little Tokyo that has the great rocks out in front. The japanese american cultural center. I like sitting on those rocks.

It wasn't till later when I saw a show on PBS about Isamu Noguchi--the sculptor that fashioned them that I realized they were his. I wonder if there are any other works by him around town. There's a lot of great sculpture in the downtown area. Great art too for that matter. In front of or inside financial institutions or corporate entities. You can see some interesting things just walking around downtown.

I'm going to try and catch Supi's art when it's up later this month. If I do, of course I'll take time to chill on that rock.

Supinder Bedi at fresh tracks_03 visual arts exhibition
at the japanese american cultural & community center March 20,21,22.

The F Word

TheFWord.pngWatched the documentary "American Pimp" a couple nights ago. Pretty good. Didn't get to finish it since it was on rather late. That gives me an excuse to watch it again. One of the songs on the soundtrack was my favorite of the songs Jac would play at Fuzzyland. Hearing it reminded me how much I miss Fuzzyland. I had never experienced anything like it before and nothing has come close since. Fuzzyland was Jac Zinder's on again/off again niteclub. Never held on a regular basis and not always at the same place, but mostly happened at Mister T's Bowl in Highland Park on Tuesday or Thurday nights--school nights. Only for the young, or those with a constitution allowing for late nights durning the week.

An interesting mix of people would show up. Mostly a combination of local bar flys, bikers and Silverlake hipsters. You could tell the Silverlake crowd because they would generally be tattooed and dressed like librarians from the midwest--wearing cat eye glasses. Clothes garnered from second hand stores. A pretty cool scene. At least it was at the time. I remember once telling my mom about the way people dressed there, getting all their clothes at thrift shops and as hand me downs. That it was a distinct fashion trend. El Lay fashion. She told me: "you must feel right at home, you've been dressing like that for years..."

I remember thinking a couple weeks before the last Fuzzyland happened that it would be coming to an end soon. A premonition I guess. The last Fuzzyland that we went to was right after Thanksgiving. Strangely it was going to be on a Friday. I was getting ready to go and my friend Dave called and said that Jac had been killed by a drunk driver. That there was going to be a wake/service thing at Mister T's Bowl. We all went and mourned jac's passing. Pretty sad.

I've gone back there once or twice since. I think twice only. Once was for a cd release party for a posthumous cd of material from various incarnations of the bands that Jac was involved with, some performed live at Fuzzyland. It was a pretty depressing scene. I went one other time, I think between this party and jac's death and it just wasn't the same. The thrill was gone. Maybe I just grew up. Thinking about it while writing this brings up that sadness again. It's all part of life I suppose...

Saw some great bands there. I remember one time dancing next to Pat. He had this large dress on that was unbuttoned. Like Dan liked to say he looked like a supersized Audrey Hepburn. Anyway, Pat is pogo-ing away and this chick leans over towards me and says: "I've seen his underwear altogether to much tonight". Now Pat is setting downtown awaiting trial for a murder one charge. Life can be pretty strange.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find anything like Fuzzyland again. It's like asking if there will ever be another band like the Beatles. It's just not going to happen. In either case it was a unique conjunction of a number of factors. Jac was the center of a perfect storm. The best I can do I guess is to be inspired by it and try and let it flavor the vibe I come across with when dj'ing. I like to think I'm fairly successful at this. Maybe the only real place I'll ever find Fuzzyland is inside...

Lost in the Desert

LostInTheDesert.pngFinishing up "The English Patient" while taking a break from that nasty book by Marquis de Sade. It's good, but it reminds me of "The Sheltering Sky" and just makes me want to re-read that one instead. What a great read that was. The movie was not so good, but it was enough to get me interested in reading the book so... good deal. My take on "The Sheltering Sky" is that it was Bowles response to coming face to face with the mystery of life. Some people might call that God. He moved to Tangier and almost never left. Living at the edge of the desert--"in the shadow of God" so to speak, after finding that what else is there?

One of the main themes of the book seems to be about how short our time on earth is and how easily we forget that this is true:

"When he had followed the river's complete turning, he found himself facing the sun in the west, looking up a small valley that lay between two gently graded, bare hills. At the end was a steeper hill, reddish in color, and in the side of the hill was a dark aperture. He liked caves, and was tempted to set out for it. But distances here were deceptive, and there might not be time before dark; besides, he did not feel the necessary energy inside him. "Tomorrow I'll come earlier and go up," he said to himself. He stood looking up the valley a little wistfully, his tongue seeking the fig seeds between his teeth, with the small tenacious flies forever returning to crawl along his face. And it occurred to him that a walk through the countryside was a sort of epitome of the passage through life itself. One never took the time to savor the details; one said: another day, but always with the hidden knowledge that each day was unique and final, that there never would be a return, another time."

Like I said, I'm just finishing "The English Patient". It's good, but it just makes me want to read "The Sheltering Sky" again. I can't recommend this book enough, it's one of the best I've read in the last several years.

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