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Pastiche

NetNanny.pngI keep having trouble with my pants. They hang off my ass. Sometimes it's so bad it feels like if I kept walking they would fall down around my ankles. To remedy this I remove my belt every few months and cut a new hole. I'm wondering: what is this problem with my pants about? I asked a friend if he thought a leather belt could stretch. It sounded far fetched. He said no, that I was just losing weight. Four new holes I have put in my belt. Another one is needed.

[As I write this there's a couple sitting next to me in McDonald's speaking a foreign language. I'm playing "guess the language" but they're not speaking very loudly. Clues:

1. She's drinking an orange juice that says: "hohes C" on the container.

2. The time on her watch says 6:10. It's 9:10 a.m. here. Consulting the citytime application on my pocket computer (shows the time in cities around the globe) I see that it's 6:10 in like Copenhagen, Berlin, Munich, Paris--most of Europe. Either they just got off the plane or she's keeping her watch set to the time at home so she'll know when it's ok to call the family and such. I'm betting they're german. That looks like german orange juice.]

Last night a friend I hadn't seen in a while told me that it looked like I had lost weight. Guess maybe it's true--leather belts don't stretch. Losing weight is a foreign concept to me. I don't think I ever have. It's always been up, up and away. If I can continue losing weight someday I'll be able to see my dick without looking in a mirror (not that I stand around looking at my dick in the mirror... it's just that maybe someday I will be able to see it without having to! and isn't that something to look forward to?)

[He's gone off to the restroom. She's reading one of those tourist guidebooks. The title is: "Kalifornia SomethingInSomeOtherLanguage".]

Got a good "cut-up horoscope" last night. I take the horoscope from a Hollywood freebie paper and fold it so like Aries overlaps with Libra--one sentence completing the next. Then I look for stuff that works. I figure it's gonna make as much sense as a regular horoscope and it's more fun (for a detailed explanation see "God's Secret Name".) So, the first line says:

You may need to blow off yourself

I can think of two ways to interpret this...

[They left. I dug that orange juice container out of the trash. Yeah, I know... you knew I would. On the side it says:

Eckes-Granini

Deutschland GmbH

Mehr Infos: http://www.hohes-C.de ]



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